Decisions, decisions....

With the New Year comes the deep urge to be a better person by improving ones diet, mind and lifestyle. As a parent of a now 18 month old it came as a bit of a shock to find that where this annual mental ritual had always been about me, I found that this year was the first year that my mind was planning on behalf of the Little Man. The tasks I set where all for me to do but for the benefit of my son.
'I must try ever hard to ensure he has the best diet of freshly prepared meals and lots of fruit and vegetables'.
'I must ensure that he is given plenty of opportunities to go to the library/mix with others/have time to play independently and on a 1:1 basis to allow him to develop his fine motor skills and discover his environment, blah blah blah'.
'I must expose him to plenty of physical activities to ensure he has an active and healthy life from the beginning to help set the pattern for the rest of his life'.
So, I heaved a big sigh and started to sort through all these thoughts - after all, I usually get to grips with my own self improving ideas each year so on with the task of improving my mothering skills to make a better life for Little Man. First on the list was diet. I have been lucky enough to of been brought up with a good sound knowledge of basic food nutrition and that combined with some common sense I feel that just a little extra effort I have this one under control. My biggest battle with this is when out and about, others are feeding their children all the 'naughty nibbles' that once spotted by a little boy you know you have to either concede or be prepared to be a public spectacle as the tantrum of mammoth proportions kicks off! Top tip - always go out prepared with extra healthy treats in the bag, though already I have found that no raisin or humble apple can compete with the crisps or chocolate biscuits.
Nest came the 'mind'. We aim for a weekly visit to the library, we spend hours reading books at home (a favorite activity of his so easy to implement). We are being active in creative activities with colouring, painting, cooking and play doh. He 'helps' with the washing and sweeping the floors and has an unhealthy fascination with throwing rubbish, or anything else he can lay his hands on, into the kitchen bin. We even fit in a spot of dancing to his much loved DVD given to him by Grandad Stu for Christmas - the Peter Kay Children in Need Animated DVD. A pretty rounded collection of things to help with expanding the mind and fine motor skills, so I have a certain confidence as I tick that one off the list.
Lastly came 'lifestyle'. This is where I stop to pause. Little Man is just getting to that age when he can start different groups that require real dedication. Everything seems to be in six week blocks but to progress and really benefit you need to commit to them for years, you have to think of them in the very long term. So, having done some research I came up with: Socatots, Gymnastics for tots, swimming, baby ballet (yes, it is for boys too) and music. Some are for week days others for weekends but which will he want to be involved in, in two years time? Currently we are dabbling in all the different ones to see how he gets on and try and gauge which appear to be his favorites - it is such a difficult decision and if I am honest the jury is still out for a few more months!
So, having been thrown this unexpected challenge of sorting my son before any thought of anyone or anything else and having if not quite completed setting up Little Mans 'life improving lifestyle' I have certainly been active in getting his 2010 off to a good start. I then spared a very brief moment to think abut me. My plan so far is, once I push the 'publish this post' button, do I improve my mind and pick up the knitting (my new skill for 2010) work on my lifestyle and switch on the TV and get physical with the Wii Fit (great Christmas gift from PM) or improve my diet by resisting the chocolate that sits upon the table to the right of me? Oh, decisions, decisions!

Time the great healer

So it has now been months, half a year even, since I updated the blog. The last time was a very sad time and took so much from me that I couldn't bring myself to put pen to paper, or as in this case, fingers to key board. Much has happened good and sad but still the New Year came and went and here we are, PM (Play Mate = husband), little man ( = our adorable son) and me and we are all very well and happy.
So just to summarize... after the miscarriage in August we got through the rest of the summer, taking day visits out and giving the little man as many opportunities as possible. We went to family parties (camping in the pouring rain, hmmmmm, not to be recommended) camped in friends back gardens (definitely to be recommended as the weather was heat wave gorgeous) and then getting back into the term time routines of baby and toddler groups, music groups and meeting with friends. All plodding along just giving ourselves time to 'heal'. Just when you think you are emotionally back on an even keel and email from a close friend tells us of her miscarriage, the emotions all come flooding back and your heart goes out to her and her family. Hard though is was to tell her about our recent similar experience it became a very healing process. We compared information, feelings and 'notes'. It helped us both and I certainly felt emotionally stronger.
We managed to get away for a week to Centre Parcs for a holiday and had a great time. The little man flourished in the swimming pool but was less keen on the cycling but it was winter!
Over these months he didn't have much in the way of verbal communication finding that pointing and with a 'uhuhuh' sound was enough for him. So began the teaching of some basic sign language to help with communication. He learnt to sign 'please', 'thank you' and 'more'. Once these were well established then he started to talk!
Then Christmas was upon us and we were dashing the breadth of England to visit relatives in Devon and West Sussex and then New Year was there, waiting to welcome us all in to 2010. It was in January that PM and I were chatting and realised that 5 months had pasted and that all things considered we were OK and able to look forward. We talked about all the good and sad things that had happened over 2009 (mainly good, how lucky we have been) and what we would like to aim towards in 2010. As we went into the details of the miscarriage and what the future holds we realised that time truly is a great healer. The sadness is there and will always be but it makes PM and me stronger and better able to face further upset in the years to come. We are able to talk and share our feelings, essential to keep our relationship healthy and after everything we still have so many laughs...not just smirks or little giggles but huge great belly-laughs. I know now, that however bad things may get, I just need to make sure I self prescribe a lengthy dose of time and let the healing process begin.
Here's to 2010.